2 Fundamental Questions to Answer in Becoming Unstoppable

There really are just 2 questions that we need to answer to have what we want in life:

1) What is it that I want?

2) So, what’s stopping me from having what I want?

If we can truly answer the 2 questions, then, there’s nothing in life that can get in our way to stop us from having what we want.

 

What Do You Want?

Back to the first question, what is it that you truly, really want? Many times when asked that, people would say I want a better job, more money, a raise, a good-looking partner, bigger house and car, a nice vacation to escape from whatever they’re going through etc. If we honestly look deep within, we would not really want these things, but what these things can make us feel.  The feeling of being recognized, of owning bigger things, of feeling important or feeling more secured, comfortable etc.

 

All of us have a set of values, things that really matter to us in life. And they are in a hierarchy of order. All of us are unique and have different hierarchy of values. A high paying but highly stressed job may be ideal for one man but not for his colleague. Maybe his colleague values recognition and appreciation (in the form of affirmations) more, or security, or the room for self-growth.

Some feel contented living in a small house as long as they have the comfort and the family “aliveness” sort of environment. Some prefer big mansions with butlers and servants. Some change their location of residence every now and then.

The list of values can include physical, mental, spiritual, vocational, financial, familial and social. You can ask yourself repeatedly what you really want by reflecting on past experiences. And sometimes we discover our values in peak experiences of pain or pleasure. Over time, you’ll come up with your unique hierarchy of values.

 

What Is Stopping You?

When we possess the constant awareness of what we really want, we can move to the second question, which is, what stops you from having what you want? Because, if there’s nothing in the way, you can already have what you’ve wanted.  So, why haven’t you have it already?

The key is by asking: what are the perceived obstacles? I used perceived because that is how we view our obstacles. Many times it’s not important how objective our view is but how useful they are. Yes, ultimately, it’s more important to filter our questions and what thoughts are useful to us, and what’s not. It’s not useful for an athlete in a high jump event to know the facts (eg. height) about his obstacle, compared to his perceived ability of how well he can perform in relation to it. In other words, it doesn’t mean much if the athlete thinks “the bar is 1.25 meter high” compared to “based on my training, I think I can just make it pass this bar”.

Many times, we do not know the reality of many situations, and our mind cannot compute all the objective facts and information. We naturally filter the information to chunk size of what we can process. In NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), they call this the Meta Model. I’ll write more on this in a future post. It’s generally not helpful and it’s impossible for our brains to process everything but only the useful ones, that’s why we may distort, delete or generalize reality based on our perception and past experiences. This can actually work for or against us. The idea is to make it work to our advantage, to be useful.

The ability to master and answer these two fundamental will literally make us to become unstoppable. For today’s mind fitness exercise, go over the two questions repeatedly, chew on the ideas that come, let your thoughts process themselves and allow them to linger a while for a few days until you reach more clarity.

Comments

  1. do you have your answers? I have been asking myself for the past 5 years and I still do not have the answer.

    As for me now, the way ahead is “Just do it”. Life is too short to keep searching for answers that i cannot find.

    What do you think about my approach?

    • Hi. I agree action and self-reflection must go hand-in-hand. We need to aim and then shoot, and then re-aim and shoot again. Until the mark is hit.

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